Receiving love
Hey guys, I would love to hear your point of view on how to allow yourself to feel emotionally safe when meeting someone who seems to be showing genuine, healthy gestures and affection at an adequate pace. I have worked a lot on myself in the past few years and am conscious about most of my coping, and self-defense mechanisms. I am trying to be aware of them and receive whatever I believe I deserve; still, every now and then I catch myself questioning this guy I met a few weeks ago and am suspecting some underlying self-sabotaging tendencies fuelled by my fear in my very own stream of thoughts related to him. Thank you for being here for us. This podcast has literally changed my whole world in dating. I keep recommending it to my friends and anyone who is struggling at any point even if it's only about anxiety. It is raw, straightforward, unnuanced, and real. Will forever keep binging episodes if I need a reminder. Thank you for answering my question. Orsi
Discussions with New Partner
Hey y’all! I have been dating someone for 4 months and something has recently started to bother me. I know I need to bring it up so we can discuss it but I’m new to the whole working on myself stuff and being more open when things are bothering me. When you were first starting your journey, how did you get the confidence to bring these things up? He is easy to talk to about other things and I’m not scared by the outcome of the conversation, but I just seem to get nervous when it is time for me to bring this up.
Friendships
Hello, hello, hello! Loving your podcast. It has literally changed my life! I’ve gone on a massive “do the work” journey. I’m from the UK and I think this is such a tricky area for a lot of brits. Anyway, I’ve gone on a massive journey and have now fallen out with some people I would have considered friends in a past “people pleasing” life. I would love to hear your take on how to manage the transition from pre “do the work friends (DTWF) to post “DTWF”? ❤️❤️
How Do You Know?
First of all, THANK YOU! This podcast, the course, and our 1:1 session has helped me immensely! I’m actually excited for the dating adventure and what the future holds. Question though - I’m doing all this work on myself but how do I know when it’s time to “get back out there.” Just ended it with my 6 month situationship… I want to make sure I am ready for the right reasons & not just using dating as a distraction.
Emotionally immature/self-absorbed Parents.
Firstly, I want to express my deep admiration for you and your podcast. Over the past year, your tough love has been incredibly valuable to me. While your focus is primarily on dating, it's clear how your childhood experiences shape your insights. You've shared episodes about your father and the challenges in your relationship, and it sounds like you've managed to maintain some form of connection with him. My situation with my parents is different. My parents divorced when I was 10. My mom tends to be anxious and often prioritizes pleasing others, while my dad is avoidant and quite self-centered. I don't think he's a narcissist, but there are certainly traits there. After their divorce, I felt neglected and bounced between their homes, craving attention and affection, acting out frequently just to be seen. My dad often spoke negatively about my mom, alienated me from her, and treated me as his emotional confidant while expecting me to maintain the household. Things escalated when he remarried and his new wife, who is now my stepmom, entered the picture. She quickly became controlling, cruel, and tried to exclude me and my brother from her family. Despite years of trying to mend things, I finally confronted her in 2020, expressing my desire for meaningful connections. My dad sided with her, dismissing my feelings and accusing me of being disrespectful and manipulative. It's been four years since then, with no effort from my dad to reconcile or see my child. Now, he's been diagnosed with stage 2/3 multiple myeloma and wants to reconnect, especially to watch my son grow. However, he hasn't acknowledged his past behavior or defended me against my stepmom. They've also decided that only my half-sister will inherit, disregarding my brother and me because we're adults. I've tried to communicate how hurtful this is, emphasizing that my pain stems from feeling abandoned for so long. Despite countless apologies, while also showing compassion and grace pertaining to behaviors from my side, they refuse to acknowledge their role and want to brush everything under the rug, painting me as unreasonable. I want a relationship with my dad and sister, but I'm struggling to establish boundaries and protect myself. I'm currently undergoing EMDR therapy, but the pain remains overwhelming. How do you maintain relationships with parents who have hurt you so deeply without ruining your own peace?