Should I take initiative to get to know him to not lose time?
Met a very interesting guy - he approached me once in town by day, we hit it off with a great conversaion and met up after some travels on either side. He has kept in touch meanwhile, we have a lot in common and have had a lovely time on two dates - hooked up on a second date at his place after cooking and had a lovely time. I am very interested to get to know him better and not create a story in my head and fill in the blanks with face to face time. Is it okay for me to take initiative and be straight forward about wanting to meet him? Women are discouraged from this but there is genuine repor and I dont want to waste time weeks on end.
Thank you.
I just want to say thank you. I have been listening for about 6 months. I am a textbook anxious. I love an avoidant. He just cut me loose again, 2nd time, been a year that we have been dancing. Your podcast has started my journey. It took 2 times with the same man, who I love in all his imperfections and will always love, but I can now say after less than a week from the discard, that my journey to healing has begun. Healing me. Making my needs a priority and not an inconvenience. Authentically me. Unapologetically me. Realizing that he is probably not my person, and coming to believe that thats ok. I am ok. I have hope. You helped me see that. So thank you. From the bottom of my everything. The work you are doing matters. And thank you.
Middle Child Syndrome 🥴
Hey! I know you’re not a middle child - but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on middle child syndrome and its correlation with dating. I’m the middle child of 5 and I feel like I embody some of the stereotypes associated with MCS(low self esteem, people pleaser for examples). I also believe it has played a role in my anxious attachment. I am working on myself with therapy/other things but would love to hear this topic discussed if possible. Thanks!
Twice Divorcee-When do I disclose this?
First, I want to say I absolutely LOVE your podcast. You have helped me grow so much in the last nine months. I sincerely appreciate everything you say about intimacy and embracing your sexuality. This topic is very important to me, and I'm exhausted by all the shaming around women being sexual beings. But that's a conversation for another time—I just wanted to express my gratitude for empowering me. Here is my situation: I have been divorced twice. I got married for the first time at 22, but my partner turned out to be physically and emotionally abusive, so we divorced after six years. The second time, I rushed into another relationship and was with him for eight years, married for three of them. I've been working on my relationship patterns and my tendency to rush into relationships in therapy. I realize how crucial it is to take things slow. I’ve been dating and getting to know partners, but I struggle with when to tell them about my two marriages. I don't want to seem like I'm trauma dumping, but also want to be upfront and honest while not coming across as a walking red flag. I've been divorced for 9 months and I don't know if I ever want to get married again, but I do want to find my person I can build something with. I do believe these two divorces have made me wiser and are an important part of my journey. When is it an appropriate time to share this information with potential partners and how much should I disclose?
Trusting people in dating
I’ve just came out of a very long term relationship with someone manipulative and emotionally abusive but I still feel like I havnt learned my lesson. I trust people far to easily even just through talking and meeting I believe every word they say and their actions and then I am completely thrown off when things change and I can feel like self wanting to close off from people due to fear. I went on a date with a guy had an amazing night there was absolutely no indication can things weren’t going well. To then find out he had blocked me the next morning and now I’m doubting everyone that wants to go out on a date in fear of not being able to read them and prepare my brain for the rejection. I don’t know how to be less soft hearted and more not caring what happens after a date.