Why Tech Guy?

If you clearly knew he didn’t fall into your ‘my type’ bucket, how did you or what made you think outside the box? I am seeing so many men that seem to have a great profile on paper but their looks and height are not appealing to me and then I’m being too shallow. Was there a thought process that allowed you to expand your mindset and horizons to then have found such a great match for you?

Affection and physical intimacy

Hi yah! Going on almost 5 months with this fella, the lack of affection on his part is like 9 out of 10. How much affection/sex should be happening? He told me about 2 months ago when I told how much I cared about him to not rush him. Of course at the time I didn’t say “what does that look like for you” he says he’s so busy and stressed out so then he can’t perform he can take a pill too, just alot of distance in this connection with him the last few months. Thx Heidi.

Jealousy/insecurity when you have body dysmorphia

How to navigate jealousy and insecurity in relationships as well as physical intimacy anxiety when you have body image issues?

Dating with relationship related PTSD?

Hi, wanted to start off by saying love the podcast! It’s helped so much!! I had a bit of a personal question, I have been recovering from ptsd from my first and only relationship. Long story short, I was in high school, my best friend at the time SA’d my girlfriend, there was a trial, I was dragged into the trial as well. After that I completely isolated myself from the world, stopped talking to everyone in my life except for my immediate family and completely dissociated. That was about 6 years ago, I’ve worked hard for a good 6 months in bringing myself back into the world after disconnecting from it for so long, and now I’ve got a wonderfully supportive friend group who I have been able to share about flashbacks and feel safe with. I’ve been trying to get back in the dating world, and I went on my first date in since just the other night, but it gave me some of the worst flashbacks and I was just bouncing from emotional breakdown to emotional shutdown for the rest of the week. I feel really bad because I was completely disconnected from myself the entire time, which isn’t fair to the girl I was on the date with, she was very sweet and I wish her nothing but positivity. I’ve been working on different methods to calm myself down, different forms of somatic therapy and such, but I’m not entirely sure how know when I can handle myself enough to be able to genuinely date and be put in romantic situations without shutting down, freaking out and/or relapsing.

With SO much focus and emphasis on navigating correctly and doing this the right way, how do I make sure that the pressure of not all isn’t placed so hard on doing the work the right way isn’t the pressure that is too great that it actually breaks the process. How can you apply organic pressure? Obviously this is coming from an anxious attacker that has anxiety about want to do all you say to do in the right order, the right way. But I focused SO hard on the outcome and perfection of it all that it all became too much for both of us to handle. Thank god I realized it, we talked but now it seems like I’m lost at how to just let the process play out naturally. I hope that makes sense.